The First thing you have to weigh up is whether staying in the marriage is going to prove to have worse consequences than staying. If there is any level of violence involved either physical or emotional then seeking a divorce should be a priority. If you have children and are constantly arguing then for the sake of the children you should consider a divorce.

Following a divorce around one third of children will have experience no adverse effects. Another third will have a few minor issues with adjusting to the parents’ divorce.  This unfortunately leave the remaining third who will suffer problems long into adulthood and if not treated could result in long term relationship problems. Affected children will feel increasingly isolated, angry and be intensely unhappy.  These symptoms can be exacerbated if the divorce is a bitter and hostile one.

On a financial level divorce can have a profound effect for the long term wealth of both parties. The level of home ownership among people who have divorced is much lower than those who have married and never divorced. Household incomes on average are lower among divorced adults than those who have married and never divorced.

The short term financial aspects can be devastating lawyers costs can take up most of your savings, divorce settlements can result in large monthly payments and the cost of additional childcare may need to be considered. One partner will need to find somewhere to live this can incur rental payments at a time where you need every cent.

For some reason divorce people develop serious health problems earlier than married couples. Women can expect to develop heart problems 5 to 10 years earlier than a happily married woman. And men can expect to die several years earlier. Mental health problems such as depression are also higher in divorced people.

One area that’s often overlooked is the social consequences of divorce. You will initially lose a proportion of your circle of friends and over a while you’ll find invites to family barbeques and picnics unforthcoming.  Learning all the etiquette of dating and finding a new partner can be fun at first but after a while you start to realise that all the “Good Ones” are not available. People who hve divorced once are very wary about making the same mistakes a second time so the rate of marriage among divorcees is lower than in other demographics.

Before taking a final step towards divorce ask yourself is there anything else that you can do to save you marriage. If separation seems inevitable and you have tried all that you can or you really don’t want to try saving your marriage then it’s best to make a clean break and file for divorce but beware of all the consequences of divorce.