The First thing you have to weigh up is whether staying in the marriage is going to prove to have worse consequences than staying. If there is any level of violence involved either physical or emotional then seeking a divorce should be a priority. If you have children and are constantly arguing then for the sake of the children you should consider a divorce.

Following a divorce around one third of children will have experience no adverse effects. Another third will have a few minor issues with adjusting to the parents’ divorce.  This unfortunately leave the remaining third who will suffer problems long into adulthood and if not treated could result in long term relationship problems. Affected children will feel increasingly isolated, angry and be intensely unhappy.  These symptoms can be exacerbated if the divorce is a bitter and hostile one.

On a financial level divorce can have a profound effect for the long term wealth of both parties. The level of home ownership among people who have divorced is much lower than those who have married and never divorced. Household incomes on average are lower among divorced adults than those who have married and never divorced.

The short term financial aspects can be devastating lawyers costs can take up most of your savings, divorce settlements can result in large monthly payments and the cost of additional childcare may need to be considered. One partner will need to find somewhere to live this can incur rental payments at a time where you need every cent.

For some reason divorce people develop serious health problems earlier than married couples. Women can expect to develop heart problems 5 to 10 years earlier than a happily married woman. And men can expect to die several years earlier. Mental health problems such as depression are also higher in divorced people.

One area that’s often overlooked is the social consequences of divorce. You will initially lose a proportion of your circle of friends and over a while you’ll find invites to family barbeques and picnics unforthcoming.  Learning all the etiquette of dating and finding a new partner can be fun at first but after a while you start to realise that all the “Good Ones” are not available. People who hve divorced once are very wary about making the same mistakes a second time so the rate of marriage among divorcees is lower than in other demographics.

Before taking a final step towards divorce ask yourself is there anything else that you can do to save you marriage. If separation seems inevitable and you have tried all that you can or you really don’t want to try saving your marriage then it’s best to make a clean break and file for divorce but beware of all the consequences of divorce.

During divorce proceedings where children are involved the parents both need to be aware of the effects that this is having on them.  Below are some of the things that children will be faced with when their parents decide to get divorced.

1.  Children whose parents are getting divorced will be faced with the fact that nothing is going to be the same anymore.  Not only are they going to have to cope with either their mother or father no longer being around all the time, but it could lead to them no longer having contact with other family members also.

2.  These children will have to deal with the fear that they are being abandoned not just by the parent who is leaving.  Certainly for younger children the idea of being left alone is something that they will find difficult to cope with.

3.  Not only do the parents have to deal with the tension they feel towards each other so do the children as well.  If parents are unable to avoid to keep their feelings in check towards each in front of their children they will find it so much more difficult to cope with the situation.

However there are things that the parents who have chosen to divorce can do which can help their children to cope with the consequences more easily.  Certainly by keeping the advice provided below in mind it will make dealing with the consequences of divorce for children so much easier.

Tip 1 – You need to encourage your children to be honest with you about the way they feel about what is happening.  This way they are able to see that they you as their parents are taking their feelings into consideration no matter what you may feel about each other.

Tip 2 – Carefully watch the way your child behaves around you and others and if you can ask them to put the feelings they have into words rather than actions.  It is important that you sit down with them and listen carefully to what they have to say even though you may find it difficult.

Tip 3 – You need to make sure that you don’t display too much animosity towards your partner in front of your children when you are altogether.  This will cause tension between all parties concerned and can lead to the children being more traumatized than they already are.

Tip 4 – If you can minimize the amount of changes you make in your children’s lives when a divorce is taking place.  By keeping to their normal routines as much as possible will help to provide them with some normality in their life which they will find comforting  The less changes you make in your children’s lives will help to ensure that they aren’t as stressed.